Marriage, the union of two souls, is a relationship that needs great care and attention. Marriage counseling is a psychotherapy that equips couples and would-be couples to cope with their married life and make it a success. Marriage counseling is also called couple therapy. There are licensed marriage and family therapists who can provide you with apt counseling according to your problems. They may be either graduate or post graduates. Finding the right therapist is a problem to overcome because marriage is not a field to experiment with wrong advices. The advices they give you can directly affect you relationship. Here are some criteria you can consider while choosing a marriage counselor.
1. Begin the search with a prayer
Everything begun with a prayer ends well. Before you start your search, pray to the Heavenly father for guidance. If you are married, sit with your partner, hand in hand, and pray that you may find the best counselor who would help you out of your problems. Even if you are not married, if possible, sit with your would-be and pray for guidance. Only after your prayer, should you start your search.
2. Decide who you want
First of all, try to identify your issues; if possible, pen them down so that it would be easy to communicate with your counselor. Decide what kind of a counselor you want according to your issues. To suggest a solution for your problem, you would want to have someone who would have faced the same situation as of yours. There are many things that you need to consider about the person who you are going to share your issues with. Do you want someone married; someone who has raised kids, a male or a female, etc. are some of the basic questions you would have to consider.
3. Five Rs
There are basically five Rs to think about marriage counseling:
Relax: Before doing anything, relax. Let God handle the issue. Take a deep breath. Do not be nervous. Take your time and start with a fresh mind.
Religious beliefs: Before starting with your counselor, make sure that you agree with their religious beliefs. This is very important, because different beliefs teach different things.
Relation: Think about you relation with your counselor. It is best to choose a person who has no relation with you so that the counseling will be unbiased.
Reputation: The reputation and reliability of the counselor also has to be taken into consideration. Consult with others about their experience with marriage counselors.
Rapport: Before beginning the counseling section, have an appointment with the counselor with your spouse and make sure that you feel comfortable talking with him/her.
4. Credentials
Just any marriage counselor will not do. There are professional therapists who are graduates and postgraduates in family and marriage counseling. The advantage of going to a professional is that you need not worry their authenticity. Do not hesitate to enquire about the credentials. Some of the qualifications are M. S. W. (Master of Social Work), M.F.C.C. (Marriage, Family and Child Counselor), M.F.T. (Marriage and Family Therapist), L.C.S.W. (Licensed Clinical Social Worker) and L.P.C. or L.M.H.C. Licensed Professional Counselor or Licensed Mental Health Counselor)
5. Fees
You need to pay for professional marriage counselors and plan in advance how much you can afford. Do not hesitate to ask about the fee structure. Normally fees are charged for each session that you attend and the number of sessions needed depends on the couples. Most probably, you would be asked to meet the counselor once a week; the frequency would decline according to the progress that the counselor sees in you. In any case, do not hesitate to ask clearly regarding the fees.
6. Prepare your question
Before falling into your personal issues, ask a few questions to the therapist about them. Ask them about their experience in this field, the privacy of your issue, about the working hours, etc. Enquire about their approaches to various issues, their treatment procedure and how often you can contact them in case of emergency. You can also ask them about how confidential your dealing will be and weather there will be an additional help in case of emergency.
7. Finalizing
After narrowing down your preferences, you would be left with a handful of counselors. The best way to asses them is to make a phone call. A brief phone call can tell you whether you will be able to go well together. Good counselors will answer almost all your questions on the phone itself. Make sure that both of you find the counselor apt. Not even one of the couple should be skeptical about the counselor, which would turn the whole thing useless. Remember that you started with a prayer, so end with a prayer.
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About the author: Rebecca is a blogger by profession. She loves writing on topics related to lifestyle and wedding. Beside this she is fond of automobiles. These days she is busy in writing an article on renewable energy.
